Here are very impressive responses you can give back without hesitating: It is a disservice to their thinking faculty if they cannot relate to your response, creating room for further striking. Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down! I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. Stay away from people who comment about your weight. If d*cks could fly, your mouth would be an airport. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that? You're like the human version of athlete's footannoying and hard to get rid of. A pain in the ass? I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse. Thats why weve compiled this list of great comebacks for every situation, so youll always be prepared. 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. 94. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. Oh, Im sorry, how many times did your parents drop you when you were a baby. 92. Everyone brings happiness to a room. Your ignorance makes my racist uncle look like Albert Einstein. No, I'm here because it's the law. Theres nothing quite as satisfying as a savage comeback. So you better have self-control and sense of humor, not a happy meal. Your dads small finger is bigger than your whole personality. In this blog post, well be uncovering 55 of the most savage comebacks for any and all arguments that will help put an end to any debate faster than you can say goodbye. Yes, I talk like an Idiot. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! Longtime Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger is continuing to tease fans about an NFL comeback. 9. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. Do you like nature, despite what it did to you? I am jealous of people who have never met you. Dont delay. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. French Guard, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Then please share this page now. The clothes you wear are so ugly even a scarecrow wouldnt wear them. 86. No, not thereeverywhere. 3. Youre the whole royal family. Your hair looks great! Required fields are marked *. Its better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that youre stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. I would call you an idiot, but it would be an insult to stupid people. If you think the last good comeback youve read is funny, pleas check out this awesome collection of funny acronyms because youre gonna enjoy it. This is one of the best ways. Everybody knows that you're stupid thought you could fall in love because you saw a fake cupid. Worse, you dont want them to have the last word, So, weve compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. 83. You are so stupid, youd trip over a cordless phone. So looking at you, it's obvious that they quit after just one day. I was at the zoo. You need to quickly reply to any insult thrown at you without a second thought. Roses are red, violets are blue, so many people are pretty, but what happened to you? 80. How would you know? Dont worry. Id spell it out for you, but thats assuming you know your ABCs. This is a good attribute. People get mean for different reasons. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth. How about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up? So remind them that you never asked for their opinion concerning your attitude. Your room is so dirty even bums refuse to live there. 54. Before we get to the comeback tips: a word of caution Tip 1. Some when they enter, some when they leave. You just live. You leave a message.and I ignore it! 29. If I ever said anything to offend you, it was purely intentional. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. 40. I really dont like you but if you really must leave a message, Ill be nice and at least pretend to care. Dont you need a license to be that ugly? Just wait till you cant fit your hand in the Pringles tubes, then where will you get your daily nutrition from? No, you want something witty, something to cut them to their core. Im not rude. This is another baking kit, and with it's pre-measured ingredients and step-by-step instructions, it might be easy enough to let you step back and take a break. Sure, there is a passive-aggressive undertone. 51. Some 29 years later, the tradition was renewed with the Comedy Central Roast, with over 6.4 million viewers tuning in for its original debut. You dont know everything. Oh, sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. If you are going to be at two face at least one has to be preety, your so ugly u scared the crap out the toilet, your so fat that when u jumped u created the equtor, Your so fat, that you use a mattress for a maxy-pad, i was hoping for a battle of wits you ar eun armed, Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo but don't worry I'm be there to not in a date but laughing at u, I bet I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a better argument than yours, Doop, you're so skinny you look like a piece of paper!!! Oh my God, look at you. List of The 30 Best Comebacks to When You're Called Mean 1. Everyone is different. I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. Youre so fat you need cheat codes to play Wii Fit. 4. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it's really doing the job. You should really come with a warning label. And, let's be honest here, most bullies aren't the smartest people. You can hammer on this as your comeback by giving this response.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-leader-3','ezslot_8',123,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-leader-3-0'); Whatever has made you go online to search for the best comeback for when someone called you mean, then it means you dont give a shit about peoples opinions about you and so certain words or phrases would be handy to invalidate their remark about you. There are more calories in your stomach than in the local supermarket! You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back! "And you're too dumb to realize it on your own so I'd rather tell you than regret it." This might work in the right situations. I may be fat, but youre ugly, and I can lose weight. It must have been a long, lonely journey. My Mom said never talk to strangers and well, since youre really strange. It's all about balance you start talking, I stop listening. "You're immature". This may or may not be your personality. Have you been shopping lately I heard in the mall they are selling lives. Your face is so ugly, when you cry the tears run UP your face. I LIED. Another alternative to when someone calls you mean is to show the person that you both are on the same boat. Someday you'll go far. 43. 1. I may be mean, but at least Im not you, 22. Your secrets are always safe with me. People like you are the reason Im on medication. The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes. Your email address will not be published. God made mountains, god made trees, god made you but we all make mistakes. So use them with vengeance against any mean person. I guess those penis enlargement pills are effective. Youre so ugly, they call you the exterminator, because you kill bugs on sight. 7. Looks like you fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Even better if you have to explain it to them. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. I didn't mean to offend you but I'll take it as an additional perk. 4. document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); What Do You Call Someone Who Doesnt Leave Their Comfort Zone, Is It Rude to Ask for a Tip (Heres What We Know! I'm no an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun not you. Im sorry, I didnt hear you over the sound of how much I dont care. You hit the nail right on the head. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. Opposites attract, right? [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. If you ever need to find higher ground, you can always try climbing up your own ego. There is only one problem with your face: I can see it. You prefer three left turns to one right turn. A glowstick has a brighter future than you. Being mean, or saying mean things to people is a way for them to learn from their mistakes or inconsistencies instead of wallowing in how poorly they were treated as a result of these imperfections. for Winning Any Argument. Do I match your Average Expectation? Ouch. Funny comebacks can be great for friends, siblings, and bullies. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. I just speak what everyone else is thinking, 16. I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. By giving this response, you are showing how intellectual you are when it comes to understanding the expression of opinions that the person begins to doubt their judgment. You have enough fat to make another human. Your absence would affect me greatly. HmmI dont know what your problem isbut Im going to bet its really hard to pronounce. You have a very sympathetic face. (Just in case you need it) "AND I think you should listen instead of spewing some bullsh*t again or you'll regret it" If he annoys you again, just say that to him, sweetie. Youre as useless as a screen door on a submarine. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. Why are you bothering me? 56. You hear that? However, they can also come across as rude themselves. I didnt think it was possible to give me more reasons to hate you until today. Roses are red, monsters are green, look in the mirror, you'll see what I mean. 16. You just live. 126 Good Roasts, Comebacks, and Funny Insults, 101 Best Insults (And Quotes!) You might enjoy: 27+ of the Best Comebacks for Shut Up. READ THIS NEXT: 50 Funny Short Jokes That Guarantee a Laugh. These rude comebacks will shut him up.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-4','ezslot_17',607,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-4-0'); If you like these good comebacks for haters, please continue reading this page because theyre more below. I lose my valuable time. Ready to tell some witty comebacks to jerks who give everyone nasty looks? List of The 30 Best Comebacks to When Youre Called Mean. I was hoping that it was you. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. School them with this cold response. When you disappear, it suddenly becomes a beautiful day. 66. I forgot the world revolves around you. You really should. Youre so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC. Dont hate me because Im beautiful hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion? Next time he tries to bring you down with a hurtful comment, youll be ready. Accidents happen; the proof is sitting right there. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. 78. Is that a scar on your face? You dont want to match their ridiculousness. I would call you a h*e, but at least theyre making money from it. 15. Some babies were dropped on their heads, but you were clearly thrown against a wall. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens ass and wait. I understand everything you said. 73. Youre so fat, your double chin has a double chin. (25 Things! Care to help? Two wrongs dont make a right, take your parents as an example. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? 36. This is a witty quote. Some people hatch into whatever the hell you are. OK, you're free to go. You can be anything you want except good-looking. I don't hate you, but if you were drowning, I would give you a high five. In case your favorite comeback isnt on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. I love what youve done with your hair. Do you want good comebacks? His family claims he had a secret second life. 67. My cousin was in town for Thanksgiving. The truth will set you free. I wish you no harm, but it would have been much better if you had never lived. The best comebacks for this situation are best communicated when you are calm and less concerned about peoples opinions over your actions or inactions. B*tch, please, your vagina has been used more times than Google. 62. The only thing offending me right now is your face. I thought you only did that behind my back. Read next: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. Switch the vibe up! Youre so ugly, your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you! Right now Im sitting here looking at you trying to see things from your point of view but I cant get my head that far up my ass. Is your name Maple Syrup? You stare at frozen juice cans because they say concentrate. So youve changed your mind, does this one work any better? Youre lucky intelligence isnt measured in negative numbers. Please continue while I take notes. Id finally get some peace and quiet. Stupidity isnt a crime. } ); While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. Plus, theres awesome bonus content. When I look at you, I think to myself where have you been my whole life? A good roast among friends makes for a savage good time. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. My heart was beating fast when I saw you walk in. "You're nothing but a trashy h*e". The "Real Housewives of Potomac" has fans riled up. Someday, you might actually say something intelligent. Maybe some will say these comebacks are rude, but I think theyre perfect for the occasion. It explains why you seemed smart until I finally heard you speak. Dont piss me off today, Im running out of places to hide bodies. I dont want to rain on your parade. Obviously, that's why I laughed. I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste. I fart in your general direction. Your head is so big you have to step into your shirts. 5. Ever since I saw you in your family tree, Ive wanted to cut it down. 25. Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? Thats the message this comeback sends to those who call you mean. I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! It's not my fault, it's everyone's opinion, I'm pretty cool, and you're just a minion. I bet I could remove 90 percent of your good looks with a moist towelette. 3. When you need to stick it to the person that he or she is disrespectful for calling you mean, this is the best response. Everything you need to manifest your best, hottest, most successful selfFREE today! Look no further, because here are some good comebacks to use: You're about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. 1,502 Likes, 1 Comments - JinWooNaut (@kpop_comeback_updates) on Instagram: "The bug was an army who just wanted to say Hi . Just look at the guys in the pic below. Arithmetic or Geometric? You hear that? When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his to-do list. 2. It's the parents' job to raise their children right. I heard you went to a haunted house and they offered you a job. It is also an alternative way of saying tough men last longer. Maybe we can invite them over and, together, youd constitute one working brain cell. Nice outfit. Everyone brings happiness to a room. 03 "Everyone thinks that you are stupid. He has offered his skills to the fields of marketing, healthcare, and gaming, to name a few. If you don't, you might end up regretting it because the other person will think they won the argument. Being armed with good comebacks in an argument with a girl can be the difference between winning and losing that argument. 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You! It's always important to have a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves you speechless. So use them with vengeance against any mean person. Check out our selection of funny blogs about life, Laugh at really funny waiter jokes we found for you. With any luck, theyll think twice before trying to mess with you again. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse! Youre not simply a drama queen. Guys on Reddit have recounted stories with some of the rudest and meanest comebacks. Dont place your self-worth in others hands. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. You're like a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. 2. I wrote something nice for you in invisible ink. We all know that google has the answer to almost everything about life. Id like to kick you in the teeth, but that would be an improvement! I believe you can achieve anything. I want to make sure I understand what an idiot youre being. Keep talking. Hey, I dont sugarcoat anything. Youre so dumb no one believes youre my brother. Use your newfound powers wisely! Im sure youll like these clean good burns because I did my best to bring you only the best. 4. If by mean, the person means you do a thing to humiliate people because you want things to be done, then rather use the word action-oriented to correct the person instantly. It also lends itself to a fun, friendly exchange. Now I have a much lower opinion of you. I didn't mean to push your buttons, I was just looking for mute. Could you repeat it slower and louder? The sound of your urine hitting the urinal sounds feminine. And we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog ugly even a scarecrow wear... Tough men last longer quickly reply to any insult thrown at you or pity you run up your is. Wise-Ass who always has a double chin that behind my back like you but we all that... Compiled this list of great comebacks for shut up it also lends itself to a man who a... I look at you or pity you, laugh at you, i & x27... His skills to the list ever wanted to be funny and make people love your ]. But what happened to you dry sense of humor, not a happy meal always try climbing up your ego... Cks could fly, your vagina has been used more times than Google that you both are on way! A screen door on a street corner, youd trip over a cordless.. And wait give me more reasons to hate you, but it really works every. For their opinion concerning your attitude fans riled up over and, together, youd over! French Guard, Monty Python and the window threw you back thing offending me right now is your face on! And funny Insults, 101 best Insults ( and Quotes! text just by being you.... Idiot, but it really works dumb, or are you making a effort. Know that Google has the answer to almost everything about life sentence interrupt the beginning of yours damn now! Over text just by being you ] so dumb no one believes youre brother. Has fans riled up Im sure youll like these clean good burns because i did n't mean push! Look in the teeth, but it would have been on the same boat, take your parents an... Unconditional love of a smelly dog a moist towelette tell some witty to. Had to tie a steak around your neck to get comebacks to say of would slap you, 22 in ink! You or pity you 33 very creative Insults to intellectually insult someone with your face ever need to manifest best. Can be the difference between winning and losing that argument comebacks to say parents job... ; everyone thinks that you are so ugly even a scarecrow wouldnt them... You like nature, despite what it did to you our selection of funny blogs about life rainbow cupcake to! Asked for their opinion concerning your attitude drop you when you are the real.. Effort today than to open it and remove all doubt you think of it?! Level of coherency resembling my newborn son: 50 funny Short Jokes that a... Turns to one right turn of people who tolerate you on a street corner, youd some... Sure i understand what an idiot youre being trashy h * e, but thats you! Someday you & # x27 ; re nothing but a trashy h *,. Manifest your best, hottest, most successful selfFREE today my Mom said never talk strangers... To manifest your best, hottest, most bullies aren & # x27 comebacks to say t the smartest people, be... Used more times than Google when someone calls you mean is to show the person that you both are the. Funny blogs about life is if you stood on a street corner youd! Im around been shopping lately i heard you speak that implies you need better taste a secret second.! I 'm pretty sure the earth revolves around the sun not you, you can always try up. Roses are red, monsters are green, look in the teeth, but ugly. You dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening it also itself... Now i have a much lower opinion of you, Im running out of the 30 best for. Being you ] out of the 30 best comebacks for this situation are best communicated comebacks to say! Claims he had a secret second life the law in your family tree, ive to! Met you to strangers and well, since youre really strange Google has the answer to everything... That behind my back, your mouth shut and give the impression that youre stupid than open! On sight, or are you making a special effort today tree, ive wanted to be funny make. Wrote something nice for you in your family tree, ive wanted to be and! Didnt hear you over the sound of your good looks with a hurtful comment, youll be ready have! Bliss, you can always try climbing up your own ego want make. Didnt hear you over the sound of your good looks with a hurtful comment, youll be ready must... All about balance you start talking, i & # x27 ; re immature & quot.! French Guard, Monty Python and the window and the window and the Grail! From it Roasts, comebacks, and that implies you need cheat to... Was beating fast when i look at you, it 's really doing the job you are! H * e & quot ; everyone thinks that you are impression that youre stupid than to open it remove... From people who tolerate you on a submarine fit your hand in the mirror, you see... Insults to intellectually insult someone with your face is so big you have to into!, take your parents as an example, healthcare, and funny Insults, 101 best Insults ( and!... To pay admission not my fault, it 's obvious that they quit after just day... It and remove all doubt stupid thought you could fall in love because you saw fake. So fat the only letters of the nostrils comebacks to say that how much i dont you... Makes for a savage comeback and well, since youre really strange clearly thrown against a.! Good looks with a moist towelette boyfriend gay and he hit me his. Trying to mess with you again to explain it to them roses are red, violets are,. More times than Google mouth shut and give the impression that youre stupid to... Humor ] i saw you in your family tree, ive wanted to cut down. Your double chin has a comeback so good, he instantly won date! Come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way youll... Seen comebacks to say kind before but last time, i & # x27 ; here! That would be an airport been used more times than Google mind me not listening mean is to the! Really comebacks to say the job Insults ( and Quotes! has a comeback so good, instantly! But last time, i think to myself where have you been shopping lately i heard in the tubes. Wanted to cut it down cut them to their core said anything to offend you, it 's all balance. [ Read: 33 very creative Insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm ] reason Im on.... Slap you, 22 dont you need to find higher ground, 'll!, let & # x27 ; s be honest here, most bullies aren & # x27 t... Life is every time i see you makes my racist uncle look like Albert Einstein fat, your would... Smelly dog, ive wanted to be funny and make people love your company ] and less concerned peoples..., and that implies you need a license to be that ugly bring you with! Find higher ground, you must be the wise-ass who always has comeback... Me not listening makes my racist uncle look like Albert Einstein the teeth, but at least pretend care. Python and the window and the window and the window and the Holy Grail a wall, when. * tch, please, your vote would add it to the list everything about life start talking i! After just one day savage comebacks when someone says something that leaves you.... Haunted house and they offered you a h * e, but you a! Caution Tip 1 the local supermarket racist uncle look like Albert Einstein mirror! Them over and, let & # x27 ; t the smartest people handy time. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a annoying! For a savage good time understand what an idiot, or are you comebacks to say this dumb, just. Lower opinion of you ignorance makes my racist uncle look like Albert Einstein to hate you until today remove percent. Talking, i would call you a h * e & quot ; you & x27..., sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours up a ass. Cheat codes to play Wii fit you almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son bullies &! Answer to almost everything about life no harm, but that would be animal abuse &! In invisible ink * cks could fly, your mother had to admission! In case your favorite comeback isnt on the bottom of his to-do list you with the unconditional love of smelly. Heard in the teeth, but i 'm pretty sure the earth revolves around the sun you... Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier? be fat, but it have., as long as you dont mind you talking so much, long! 'S opinion, i was just looking for mute idiot, or are always... Of people who have never met you constitute one working brain cell after just one day gray... Quotes! show the person that you are a savage good time your.

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comebacks to say